Chapter 6: Puerto Viejo, Costa Rica

31.07.2013

• It feels strange to pack. Breakfast of papaya and peanut butter. My favourite; Thank you, Molly. Hugs goodbye to my new pal, David, and walked downtown to catch a bus back to Turrialba to see Geovanny (our tour guide for the Kulshan Chorus) and his girlfriend, Kaley. The drive was spectacular through green hills with grand vistas. Passed through some familiar areas and felt like I had to wave a little goodbye to each. Arrived in Turrialba, grabbed a cab, and made my way to check in at the small hotel on the CATIE campus. 
• Had some time to relax before meeting Geo and Kaley for dinner. Walked around the campus for a while which is a beautiful spot in an already beautiful place in the world. The cloud draped mountains and the sun setting on the pond as the egrets flock en masse to a large tree with deafening chatter. I love the city but it is also so refreshing to be alone in nature. 

• Made my way to the International Club, a small restaurant on campus, to meet my friends. When I first arrived there was a program on the television featuring Friends-International, an organization in Cambodia that I was able to visit a couple of times last year. Some of you reading this may have souvenirs from their handmade-goods store. Cambodia follows me like a little shadow of my heart beckoning me back. 
• My friends arrived and we spent the evening talking and laughing. We told stories of language blunders and they showed me pics of their pups and we planned another degree or two for me. They are such sweet people and it was great to connect again and cement a friendship beyond the Kulshan tour. 
• I walked them toward home and hugged goodnight. Saw a [dead] very poisonous snake and looked for crocodiles in the pond. Took a relaxed stroll back toward my room and enjoyed the warm night air and the feeling of being alone in the world while making new connections throughout it. Quick chat with Kevin back home - he is more endearing every time I see him. He will be performing in a radio play tomorrow night - I promise to post it when it is online!
• Oh, and if you aren't following anything about the struggle of our LGBTQ friends in Russia, try THIS or THIS. 

01.08.2013

• Met Kaley to say goodbye and walked two clicks to the botanical garden at CATIE. Got to see the painted tree that some members of Kulshan were able to see on our optional tour days. It is a project aided by Ronnie de Camino Velozo, Director of the Latin American Chair of Forests Landscapes Management at CATIE, designed to help people reconnect with the beauty of the natural environment and to love and protect it. It is a beautiful idea and a beautiful work of art in the small and somewhat scientific garden. They did have a durian fruit tree growing as well but I was not able to find this stinky, sweet fruit for sale. It's an oft' despised fruit that I feel in love with in Cambodia on the beaches of Kep. 
• Chatted with Kevin for a moment and went to bus stop. I missed the first bus and waited for an hour on the side of the road for the next bus to pick me up. However, the next bus came was a direct/express run so did not stop for me. There was a very friendly guard at the CATIE gate trying to help me who kept checking on me who then helped me get a bus back into downtown Turrialba to get the next connection to my destination. Success! Finally on the road, I stuck my head out the window and waved at the guard as we passed CATIE. He smiled back, waved, and gave me a big two thumbs up! Little moments.
• Read my second letter from Kevin. In case you forgot, his birthday gift to me included a packet of letters, one for each month I will be gone. This is August first so I got to read it! It started with reflections on Mark Twain’s travel book, The Innocents Abroad, which was actually his bestselling book in his lifetime and one of the bestselling travel books of all time. Kevin also gave me a PDF of readings for each month I am gone and, surprise!, this month is a selection of chapters scanned from Twain's journey. Kevin's letter was very sweet and spoke of his excitement preparing for our tours to Portland and Orcas Island when he wrote it back in April. It was so touching that I couldn't help a tear or two. I am grateful to be the recipient of such sweet love.
• It was a long day on the road. This ride took me to Siquirres where I had to walk up two blocks and catch another bus to Limon where I had to walk around the baseball field to find my bus to Puerto Viejo. Four buses and 7 hours after I left CATIE I was finally at my destination. I met one person on the bus who just closed his spa, Bliss Massage, to focus on teaching craniosacral therapy and another person who lost his partner to brain cancer in December. They were very warm and welcoming and were nice enough to help me find a cab and figure out where my hostel was. 
• Before I went in search of my bed I needed to satisfy the hunger that built from only snacking all day. I wandered up the block to a small food shack on the beach where I enjoyed another wonderful plate of casado con pollo. The owner's neice had been bored at home with her one year old and walked down to hang out. That meant that I got to talk with Jolliea and play with little Salisha, who her mother named after a model and was already living up to diva status, says mom. 
• A fresh pineapple smoothie and some time later I decided to fetch my cab and check into Hostel Mi Casa on playa cocles (cocles beach). The hostel is away from downtown situated directly across from the beach but the rooms are set back in the woods. My dorm room had four beds but I had no roommates! Seems there were enough rooms to give individuals and groups their own spaces this week. I settled in for a while then made my way next door to Tasty Waves Cantina, the bar/restaurant next door. They were in the middle of trivia night which I cleraly should have been playing as I answered all of the questions correctly in round two. 
• I eventually decided to clean up and walk back toward town. Walking toward the gate of the hostel I remembered that one person on the bus said there were so many sloths in Puerto Viejo that all I need to do was look up and I would find one. I looked up. I saw a sloth! It worked. I can't explain exactly why I was so excited, but I surely was. 
• I wandered into town and grabbed a quick bite at Joe's Snack Point to take away and eat on the beach. Popped into a bar called The Lazy Mon to watch the tourists drink and play ping pong and hula hoop. 
• To be honest, these beautiful, natural areas draw a large contingent of travelers that I do not relate well too. Really, there is just a very active scene here that I do not spend time in back home. But there is something different to me when this scene occupies a foreign environment that seems more, shall I say, challenging for me. In some ways it reflects some insecurity being an outsider to yet another cultural enclave imported to a country where I am already an outsider. But it also raises a lot of questions for me about how tourism creates a form of colonization, especially when the ex-pat community owns many of the more visited and lucrative businesses. I wrestle with my judgments and take the opportunity to understand the people and activities around me and how they relate to one another as a meta-examination of the collision of a variety of cultures. I also need to see myself in this scenario, the assumptions I am making, the roles I am playing, and the ways in which I perpetuate or intervene in the systems I witness. Lots of thinking and planning ahead to be a responsible tourist. 
• Home to sleep. Sweet sleep.

02.08.2013

• Reading more excerpts from Mark Twain's travelogue. It's a bit hard to realize how socialized as a privileged person he is and the often racist and condescending views he takes of the places and people he sees. Of course, he was a man in context of his life and times but so are we all and a better social analysis with more respect and dignity are principles worth asking of ourselves. 
• I walked the beach for a while this morning, joined by a brindled dog who was happy to be my companion for the day in exchange for the occasional toss of a stick and pat on the head. I was sad to see him go but it was time for us to part ways as I desired a shower and he longed for a playmate.
• A lovely email from Michelle Desmond this morning who dreamed we had a Skype date. Hopefully a real Skype date in the near future. Quick chat with Kevin and then lunch at Tasty Waves where I chatted with my server, Liz, who happens to be from Martinez, California, just across the bay from my home town. Chatting more we also realized that I was likely the lifeguard for her meets when she was on swim team. Small world. 
• Walked into town to look at arts and crafts and check out restaurants. Happened upon a singer at Lazy Mon as she began a Regina Spektor. Grabbed some grub at Monli; sweet, fried plantains stuffed with black beans with a side of yucca chips. Later I wandered into grocery stores to see what foods were in stock and bought the makings for future meals and a papaya for the morning. 
• Walked home and tried to type but got distracted by a conversation about race in the USA and invited myself to join. White people don't usually talk about race with people of color because we are afraid of saying the wrong thing or being offensive or because we are worried that we will be challenged. But white people will talk about race with other white people and that is a great opportunity to give new perspective with fellow white folk. There is a lot written on how to talk about issues of race, and it should be said that some ideas around talking about racism are not at all concerned with making white folk comfortable. In reality, addressing the internal and external constructs of racism is a lifelong process that is inherently messy, however, it has benefits for everyone and is essential to challenge and be challenged. 
• Got to talk with Alejandro, our hostel host, who is from San Jose but moved here to run a friend's beach side hostel. Found out he is a recent grad of the UN mandated Peace School that Kaley also went to. He was in the International Peace Studies program. He shared a lot about his education and we talked about the roots of system change and the tension between human rights activism and the day-to-day needs of people and communities. We agree that we cannot look past the people in front of us when looking at the big picture. We did not fully agree on the capacity for law to change systems and the utility of bureaucratic infiltration. He also agreed to connect me with friends who went through the Peace Education program at the school. Sorry, Kevin, but the universe clearly wants me to come back to school in Costa Rica. It's a good place to write a novel, I think. 
• One of the young women in the group, Calley, is also from Seattle and is working here as a volunteer for an animal rescue called Jaguar Rescue. Her assigned task? Babysitting a one month old monkey whose mother died on an electric fence. Apparently, baby howler monkeys cannot regulate their own body temperature and require the warmth of a more mature being which is why they are carried around by their mothers. In this scenario, Calley is his new mother. Jealousy. A trip to the rescue center may make the itinerary. 
• Grabbed a cab with her to head down to Chili Rojo, a restaurant owned by Andrew, a man from Vancouver, BC and his wife who I only met briefly. I had been told they would have live music tonight and, low and behold, this evening's talent was the same woman singing the Regina Spektor song at Lazy Mon earlier today. Spoke with her for a while about her time living in Costa Rica and possible plans to get her to Bellingham sometime. Will see her again on Sunday at an all-night open mic. I enjoyed her music and the two for one mojitos with a side of fries. Calley and I were joined by Patrick, a traveler from Switzerland. We all sang Let It Be as we left the restaurant and shared cabs back home, sweet (new, temporary) home.  

03.08.2013

• Started the day attending the Puerto Viejo Open Pro surf contest. I am not a surfer and I really don't know much about the sport so some of the finer points were lost on me. But it is impressive to watch what is clearly an athletic activity. Wanting to avoid the heat and crowds I decided to go early in the day which was also a kick because that is when the youth categories compete. It was fun to watch teens and even some very young kids catching waves and worrying when they would fall hard in a breaking wave. Some of the really young kids (four and five years old) could body surf alone in the waves - amazing how adaptable people are to their environments. The beach was still full of people and I took some time to walk up the shore and take photos that I didn't prepare for the day before.  
• Back home for some time to rest before heading into town. Got to video chat with my brother, my man, and my dear Jeralyn and her kiddos, Jaeden and Jordan! I am so honored to be "Uncle Michael" to more people in the world. 
• Back in town I wandered around the shops and markets. Ate chicken kebab and empanadas from a woman with a grill under an umbrella standing on the street corner. Later, wandered into Bread and Chocolate, and amazing restaurant, bakery, and purveyor of chocolate treats. I ate a salad with a house-made vinaigrette and a freshly made carrot, orange, beat juice. Everything was so fresh and flavorful, the space was warm and comfortable, and the staff efficient and friendly. They were out of the balsamic sea salt truffles and so I wandered onward without satisfying my sweet tooth. 
• Took a long walk home; I am getting my exercise living outside of town. Rest for a bit and then back into town via cab (dangerous roads in the dark, in a tourist town, after a surf competition). Made my way to Chili Rojo. Tonight's meal included fresh watermelon vodka cocktail and a plate of rice noodles with mixed seafood. A band played blues, funk, jazz, rock with a mix of musicians from North America and Costa Rica. A sticker on the napkin holder at my table for Casa Que Pasa, a laid back food and tequila landmark in Bellingham, Washington, my home! It is a small world. A.k.a. major travel routes for tourists are often made with some predictability. 
• Stayed through the band and caught a cab home. Was invited to play a competitive game of bean-bag-toss at Tasty Waves (the bar next door) and agreed to the challenge. Three victories, no losses, and a couple of shots purchased by my defeated opponents later and I was ready for a shower and bed. One of my new pals was a very friendly, too-drunk guy from Bremerton, Washington here to visit his friend who has been visiting here for a few months.... from Bellingham, Washington. Sigh and smile. 
• Some people reading my blog have asked if I am doing alright, saying my posts make me sound a bit lonely. To reassure you, I am enjoying myself and I am making some wonderful new connections that are the highlight of my travel. I am also enjoying the silence and peacefulness of being alone too - there is a stillness inside of me that I enjoy exploring and my own thoughts are more than enough (sometimes too much) company some days. I enjoy the solitude, the feeling of being alone and lost in the world. At the same time, traveling can be lonely. Most days there is at least some moment when I miss my family, my partner, my community, the life back home that I have built over years with the loving help of many people. I'll see something that reminds me of a person or place or time that I love which is now far away from me (and then forget to send you an email when I get back to my computer). But that is part of the beauty of it too. The whole "absence makes the heart grow fonder" thing, i.e. being away helps one gain perspective on where they come from and (hopefully) the things they appreciate. Twain quotes a poem in his travel book, supposedly written by a man who spent four years shipwrecked on an uninhabited island: “Oh, Solitude, where are the charms which sages have seen in thy face?" The sages were right, but only because they saw the wisdom that solitude can bring. The authors poem continues with a list of things he misses: "the sweet music of speech... society, friendship, and love... the sound of the church-going bell...." While heavy with lament, the poem is also a list of the beautiful and meaningful things in life which he now sees with such great clarity for the value they have in the richness they bring. Even the loneliest moments, for this reason, can still be enjoyed by the sage. That said, I am not shipwrecked and have an expected end-date for my sojourning. And, if my posts do not ring of happiness every day, that is because I am not likely to be happy every day. I wouldn't imagine to spend a whole year at home being happy every day (hopefully many parts of most days). But happiness is also not a goal in my life. I have been blessed with wise teachers and worked hard to ready a peaceful soul to experience many moments of overwhelming happiness, to the point of euphoria. But happiness is fleeting and I would much rather be on the search for joy. Joy, I believe, is something much deeper and allows a great deal of space for sorrow, pain, grief, and longing. As my friend, Madeline McNeill, writer, singer, and philosopher said once (and I am paraphrasing) "I want to experience life with a full range of emotional acrobatics." Joy comes in embracing these more challenging aspects of life and our emotions and learning the lessons they have to teach us: gratitude for what we have, how to ask for the help we need from others, the power of our vulnerability, an appreciation for the value of life, changes we want to make to our experience and the world around us. Joy is looking beyond happiness to see more clearly the world around you and being willing to give up some of your own happiness so that others have more opportunities to find happiness, if not simply less heartache. Happiness may be something we can look for in every day and is a hopeful reward for the work toward social justice, but, joy is a practice that can change our relationship with the world. I received an email from Mama Heidi with a poem that speaks to the sorrow of new adventures that beautifully describes the tension in the the loss that comes from new explorations:

Today, by Rev. Jessica Clay

Will you sit with me in my sadness
Resist the urge to speak of excitement
For what looms up ahead.
Right now I ask you to sit with me in my sadness
Mourning so much
Needing a comforting touch.
Life altering career change
Leaving, left, goodbye,
Faces and places that have held so much.
Friendships forged over laughter and tears
Will you sit with me in my sadness
As I strike out on that road and face my fears.
Stay with me in this place, it is so scary to be alone.
Please don’t talk of choices made,
That does not comfort my hurting heart.
A hug, and a how are you is a nice place to start.
Will you hold me in this space,
As I unsteadily find my place.
It is dark and teeming with life
If you sit with me for a moment
Before I take flight.
Transition, change, nothing is sure
A ship bereft on the middle of the ocean
Looking for its dock.
Will you sit with me in my sadness
I don’t know how long it will last
But this is all I ask.

04.08.2013

• Rain makes for a slow day with lots of time to catch up on emails. Listening to Auga De Sapo, Leo's (from San Jose) band. Made lunch of grilled corn cakes with spices and filled with red beans that came mixed with salsa lizano. Delicious. 

• When the weather cleared a bit I was ready to get out. I took a long walk down the beach and watched a playful group of kids splashing and boogie boarding in the surf. Dogs on the beach played with the same zeal but a bit more neck biting. I am tired today. The grey is welcomed. No big adventures in the sun might be missed on account of lost sleep. Or as one of my favourite singer/songwriters wrote, "Oh, it looks like rain tonight and thank God 'Cause a clear sky just wouldn't feel right."
• Walked into town and ate a dinner of chicken kebabs from a street stand and a menagerie of snacks collected at the grocery store. Newspaper with cover story about families with LGBTQ parents. I can't read Spanish but it was encouraging none the less. Wandered into the only arts store that I have really liked in Puerto Viejo called Luluberlu. Stopped for a fresh fruit drink and plate of fries at Outback Jack's, a kitsch filled grill with old eyeglasses hanging from the ceilings and filling bowls on every table. Jack presented himself to the table, an old seaman of an Aussie, and shared stories of his time living on his boat in Blaine, WA, in Whatcom County (aka, home).   
• Back to Lazy Mon for open mic kicked off by Jessy Chick who's drummer was none other than the guy from Bellingham with the too-drunk friend from last night. Other performances tonight included an improve session featuring a woman providing extemporaneous vocals with expressive vocalizations. She is the ecstatic dance type which always draws attention and for which she seemed either not to notice or to embrace. It's easy to laugh at the person in the room acting outside of conventional social norms and freely expressing themselves. At some point you realize you are laughing with them and that perhaps they are a great teacher about the self-imposed restrictions we place on ourselves every day as an act of internalizing the ways we are socialized. Some people are less encumbered. Some people need to have a couple of drinks first. It's just another relationship to explore and the consequences vary on both ends.